Invisible Earthquake – A woman’s journal through still birth

16th February, 16h15

Grief pulls your strings

After letting you loose long enough

So you will feel the weight of another fall

Grief calls you inside, locks you up

Takes you back

To childish threats and tantrums

None of which make any difference

To what happened, what can never be replaced

Grief knows your secret weaknesses

your hiding places

Can turn the most ordinary places

Into alien landscapes

Grief changes your walk, your talk

Brings you unexpectedly to your knees

Grief ignores all your pleas

Grief makes you want to hurt yourself

Want to hold yourself back

When times pushes you forward

Grief tries to convince you

That nothing and no one can take its place

Grief pretends to disappear

Then jumps up in your face

Grief teaches you patience

Gives you no choice

Takes away your voice

Grief destroys all you have built

If you let it,

If you forget to give in

Grief is a cleansing fire; embrace it

Surrender to its demands

Grief knows the way

Within grief’s cave

Under the spell of its darkness

The real healing work begins.

[Invisible Earthquake – A woman’s journal through still birth – by Malika Ndlovu]